Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
