dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
