Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
