quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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