I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
