I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
sarcasm needs its own font
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
