Sponge bath it is.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
50% drunk capacity currently
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
