You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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