i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
