Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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