its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
