some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
