She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I party with great urgency now.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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