Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
