I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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