Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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