he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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