Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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