i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I lost the right to judge tonight
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
