Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
