I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
