Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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