Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
