I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
