Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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