im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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