She's JV to your varsity
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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