i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
that's an acceptable place to lick
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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