Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
