I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
