When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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