The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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