found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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