i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The best revenge is premature balding
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
