That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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