It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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