My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
