You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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