I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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