sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm at about main and main street
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
