I don't think brook has ever known best
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
