so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
