i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
