Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
