I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
