woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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