Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
