There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
