so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
