We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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